Chaos Happens.

I've learned who my REAL friends are. Like Kelly who fit me into her VERY busy schedule for dinner tonight at 6pm, and is more than happy to listen, empathize and be there for me. Sue who fit me into her schedule tomorrow evening when she's going to be babysitting her grandsons most of the day and no doubt she'll be tired, but she cares enough to make the time for me. Beth, who called me because she was concerned I was going to hurt myself or do something stupid and MADE me make a doctor's appointment about the whole not being able to eat thing. Adrienne who invited me to come hang out with her at her little sister's birthday party on Saturday over in Flushing. My brother who invited me to come with him to the parents house in Flushing this weekend. Jason, who I met online at Yahoo Personals and doesn't even know me, but is willing to listen to me talk about my divorce etc. anyway and is willing to be a friend. And all you guys who have offered kind words, prayers and good thoughts here on LJ. I really am NOT alone, I am actually very blessed.

I found this on the following website - http://www.tcpc.org/about/the_8_points_english.html - and I thought it did a fairly good job of summarizing where I'm finding my spirituality is moving towards - especially point #6.

The 8 Points
2003 Version

By calling ourselves progressive, we mean that we are Christians who…

1. Have found an approach to God through the life and teachings of Jesus;

2. Recognize the faithfulness of other people who have other names for the way to God's realm, and acknowledge that their ways are true for them, as our ways are true for us;

3. Understand the sharing of bread and wine in Jesus's name to be a representation of an ancient vision of God's feast for all peoples;

4. Invite all people to participate in our community and worship life without insisting that they become like us in order to be acceptable (including but not limited to):

believers and agnostics,
conventional Christians and questioning skeptics,
women and men,
those of all sexual orientations and gender identities,
those of all races and cultures,
those of all classes and abilities,
those who hope for a better world and those who have lost hope;

5. Know that the way we behave toward one another and toward other people is the fullest expression of what we believe;

6. Find more grace in the search for understanding than we do in dogmatic certainty - more value in questioning than in absolutes;

7. Form ourselves into communities dedicated to equipping one another for the work we feel called to do: striving for peace and justice among all people, protecting and restoring the integrity of all God's creation, and bringing hope to those Jesus called the least of his sisters and brothers; and

8. Recognize that being followers of Jesus is costly, and entails selfless love, conscientious resistance to evil, and renunciation of privilege.

I now have a washer and dryer that I can actually use. Nothing was wrong with them, they came from the old house. Just an attachment hose was leaking and needed to be replaced on the washer and there was no gas hookup for the dryer - which since it's a gas dryer was a problem. Fortunately I have a cousin who's a plumber and Herb was here this morning to fix all of that and take a look at my bathroom that I want to remodel to work up an estimate for that. So now I have a stove to cook meals on and a washer and dryer to wash and dry my clothes in. Ah, modern day conveniences, you don't miss 'em until they're gone...and then you realize how lucky you are to have them, to be able to afford them etc.

Apparently nothing was wrong with me that a piece of BoonZaaijer's (a local bakery that makes stuff that is to die for) cake and a mimosa couldn't fix. I feel much better - okay the cake and the mimosa helped, but the truly helpful thing was realizing that I absolutely DO NOT need a man in my life to be happy. It's been a while since I've been alone, there is bound to be some difficulties transitioning. But I was happy before as a single and I can and will be happy again.

Things are SLOWLY progressing towards some semblance of order in the new place. Still lots of boxes to unpack, but I found my silverware this morning! ...and there was much rejoicing!!

Well, mostly. And my computer is set up - that's the important thing, right? Of course it took me 2 trips to the store to replace pieces of the computer that somehow didn't survive the moving process. Not too surprised on the monitor end of things since it was 5 years old, didn't display colors properly anymore anyway and I was going to get a new one when I got around to it. So I got a round to it tonight because I wanted to check my e-mail damn it! Then I discovered the mouse didn't work anymore either - not sure what happened there. So now I have a nifty flat panel monitor and a nifty wireless mouse - I figured as long as I needed new ones I might as well get something nice. I have a little extra money right now because I got my mortgage for the new house for a few thousand dollars more than the house cost since I knew it needed a few repairs. Plus I knew I would need a new stove since this one is on it's last leg - course now that I just dropped over $200 on a monitor the stove may have to make due for a while if I want to be able to afford to remodel the bath like I want to.

Today was stressful - VERY stressful. I was overwhelmed, panicky, and irritable all day. I get that way when I am WAY stressed out and have too much to deal with. Last time that happened (when Rick moved out and I was trying to get ready for an open house at the same time) Dave was there to keep me sane. It was much more unpleasant this time without him around. For one thing I had to spend the majority of the day with Rick. Now, Rick and I HAVE remained friends - but we don't work well together, never have - always leads to both of us becoming very annoyed and testy - one of the many reasons we're divorcing and I'm quite certain at this point, even though being "alone" is scary, that I'm doing the right thing with this divorce. Somehow it will all work out.

I realized, as Rick managed to make me annoyed within the first 5 minutes that he was there today that I've only ever been annoyed by Dave's behavior once. Normally he has a very calming, soothing effect on me and we seem to work together very well. It's a shame that things didn't work out between us because I think we were really good for each other. But life is just a little too crazy for both of us right now. He says that all he can offer me right now is friendship but he doesn't know what the future may hold. Or something to that effect. I guess that gives me a little hope for the future, but I'm not sitting at home just waiting for him to come back around. I am sitting at home, but that's just because I have about a zillion boxes to unpack before I can move around this house without bumping into things. :) I actually got on Yahoo personals - never done the online dating thing, but why the heck not. Not looking for anything serious, but don't like to sit home all alone ALL the time - a little companionship might be nice on occasion.

Not only do I love the people I work with and am even rather fond of what I'm doing, but the physical location kicks ass too. There's a city park out behind us - a park on a lake with a beach. Across the street there is a plaza with a branch of my bank, a pharmacy, a hallmark, Little Caesar's, Subway, and several local eateries including Treat Street where they have great sandwiches and ice cream to die for. There's a gas station next door, a hair salon on the other side and a grocery store down on the corner. An animal hospital across the side street from the plaza where I'm thinking I'll transfer Moira's records to. I don't see how this location could be any more convenient. I love it! And I'm closing on a little house about 6 blocks from here tomorrow. Yay!

My cat spawned a tribble this morning:



Believe it or not that is all from just one brushing!

A bird built a nest in one of my hanging baskets of flowers and I've been carefully watering around the nest for weeks now. Today I noticed that the eggs have hatched and there are tiny little baby birds in the nest. How cute! I'm so glad - I was afraid I was disturbing the mother bird too much and she would abandon the eggs.

Dang a lot has been going on and it's been a while since I updated. Rick closed on his new place last Friday and moved into it on Saturday. We had our first open house on our place the following day on Sunday. Dave and I were up until 3:30 cleaning to get the place in shape for the open house and then I got up at 9am the next morning to finish things up. It still wasn't as clean as I wanted it to be, but it served. We had 5 couples come through that day and two more (or possibly some from Sunday returning with their realtors to look again) come through on Monday. Two more people viewed the house on Thursday and another one is viewing it tomorrow. Lots of traffic hopefully = quick sale. I have had my offer on the place I decided on accepted and will close by the end of June. It's little - but big enough for one.

During the open house I went to a family thing out at my Aunt's place - a gathering for my grandma's birthday even though she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday anymore. It was interesting. I also dropped the news, informally and in private conversations (I didn't make a big announcement or anything) that I'm getting divorced. It was not quite as awkward and painful as I had thought it might be.

My job is going really well. They seem really pleased with me and feel that I'm working out great - they can't believe how quickly I'm picking up things like their billing software (considering I've got no billing experience in my past work experience) - I pick things up quickly, always have. I really like Bill (the attorney whose office it is) - he's an honest to gosh good person. He specializes in estate planning, probate and real estate law and has a great sense of humor. I wasn't sure about his legal secretary at first because she wasn't initially very friendly to me but I think she was just too busy to be very friendly because Barb seems to have really warmed up to me as well. So hopefully everything will work out there and I will go full time at some point - hopefully sooner rather than later.

This weekend Dave and I are heading down to Ohio for my friend Jenna's wedding. She's getting married at the Columbus Zoo where she works. Should be interesting. We'll be crashing and Julie and Dustin's place near Bowling Green and it will be great to see them and their little boy Xander as well as his brand new twin sisters that just arrived last month.

I'm living in a constant state of...well, not quite stress, not sure what to call it. I just can't relax very well in my own home right now because it has to be clean and neat at all times (or not too far away from being able to be made so) in case someone wants to see it. I'm spending a lot of time at Dave's place not just because I can relax here but also because they have central air and it's been HOT here lately. Scorching. Hope you all have good weekends. I'll catch you around.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been busy lately. I continue to sort through stuff and try to get this house in shape for the open house next weekend. This weekend was jam packed full of other events due to the holiday as well. Saturday a bonfire at Lisa from the gaming group's place, Sunday a graduation party for Eric from the gaming group, Tonight a bonfire at Seth's place - yup, another from the gaming group. And earlier this afternoon Beth and her son Jason, Edward and his roommate Grace, and Dave came to help Rick and I get a handle on the gardens here so the place can look nice outside too while we're trying to sell it. Whew, I'm tired, and a little sore from all the weed pulling. And I have to work tomorrow. Yes, that's right I have a job. It's through one of the temp agencies I'm registered with and it's only part-time to start because this office would like to see if I'm going to fit with them first. But if things go well it will become full time and permanent. It's clerical work in a law office a few blocks away from the house I've been thinking that I would like to buy. How potentially convenient. Well, that's the brief update on what's going on in my life. Hope everyone else had a great memorial day weekend too.