Jul. 2nd, 2005

d_a_r_a: (Default)
Well, mostly. And my computer is set up - that's the important thing, right? Of course it took me 2 trips to the store to replace pieces of the computer that somehow didn't survive the moving process. Not too surprised on the monitor end of things since it was 5 years old, didn't display colors properly anymore anyway and I was going to get a new one when I got around to it. So I got a round to it tonight because I wanted to check my e-mail damn it! Then I discovered the mouse didn't work anymore either - not sure what happened there. So now I have a nifty flat panel monitor and a nifty wireless mouse - I figured as long as I needed new ones I might as well get something nice. I have a little extra money right now because I got my mortgage for the new house for a few thousand dollars more than the house cost since I knew it needed a few repairs. Plus I knew I would need a new stove since this one is on it's last leg - course now that I just dropped over $200 on a monitor the stove may have to make due for a while if I want to be able to afford to remodel the bath like I want to.

Today was stressful - VERY stressful. I was overwhelmed, panicky, and irritable all day. I get that way when I am WAY stressed out and have too much to deal with. Last time that happened (when Rick moved out and I was trying to get ready for an open house at the same time) Dave was there to keep me sane. It was much more unpleasant this time without him around. For one thing I had to spend the majority of the day with Rick. Now, Rick and I HAVE remained friends - but we don't work well together, never have - always leads to both of us becoming very annoyed and testy - one of the many reasons we're divorcing and I'm quite certain at this point, even though being "alone" is scary, that I'm doing the right thing with this divorce. Somehow it will all work out.

I realized, as Rick managed to make me annoyed within the first 5 minutes that he was there today that I've only ever been annoyed by Dave's behavior once. Normally he has a very calming, soothing effect on me and we seem to work together very well. It's a shame that things didn't work out between us because I think we were really good for each other. But life is just a little too crazy for both of us right now. He says that all he can offer me right now is friendship but he doesn't know what the future may hold. Or something to that effect. I guess that gives me a little hope for the future, but I'm not sitting at home just waiting for him to come back around. I am sitting at home, but that's just because I have about a zillion boxes to unpack before I can move around this house without bumping into things. :) I actually got on Yahoo personals - never done the online dating thing, but why the heck not. Not looking for anything serious, but don't like to sit home all alone ALL the time - a little companionship might be nice on occasion.


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