Another revelation

[d_a_r_a]

In this whole crazy situation my constant fear has been that somehow I'm being led astray by Satan. He is, after all, the father of lies. A lot of people don't believe in his existence but I've seen too much not to believe in some sort of truly evil force at work in the world. Then I realized again that the deception is not now, but was back then. Satan has waylaid me for about 10 years. I'm back to where I was 10 years ago on my spiritual journey. The Bible is very clear that what God requires of us is to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.

I have not been doing that. I've been trying in some respects, but only half heartedly. I got too caught up in the materialism that seems to run rampant in most evangelical circles. I didn't even realize that it was the case at the time. After all, I didn't want much compared to some, just wanted more than I had. I'm letting go of those wants. Learning to be content with what I have and even more than that to clear out some of the clutter that I've accumulated through the years. You know I'm serious when I start getting rid of jewelry and CDs. ;) There is nothing wrong with owning things - as long as they don't own you. And can I just say that the fewer things you own the less likely that they'll gain up on you? :)

I am also rediscovering the indignation I used to feel over the world's injustices. Channeling that indignation into actual useful actions will require some direction I don't seem to have yet. I am learning to love mercy and put aside all judgmental attitudes. I have certainly been humbled beyond all belief.

I feel like my eyes have been finally opened. I'm not saying that the evangelicals I've been involved with are evil or working for Satan - just that Satan is subtle. He uses things that have some truth in them, twists and perverts that truth and leads you down another path than the one God has for you. He even tried to do that with the very scriptures themselves when he tempted Jesus in the desert.

Comments

[radiojedi.livejournal.com]

I left the evangelical church years ago for similar reasons. I do think, to be honest, your spiritual gifts are similar to mine, which is why you would have issues having a spirit-filled faith in such a setting. I believe you would fit in much better somewhere like a Vineyard or a Messianic congregation. I do't want to get into much here, but maybe I'll email you some more thoughts later because I had a word from God about you recently.

[godwillnspire.livejournal.com]

Vineyard rocks! I have a cousin who does urban outreach through Vineyard. I understand why people would leave the "Evangelical" church for other evangelical churches (that is, other Christian churche). As a college student at an "Evangelical" Bible college, I find the temptation to cling to wealth and things is given into more characteristically than with other types of Christian cultures (though all Christian cultures are evangelical, if you know what I mean).

[d-a-r-a.livejournal.com]

Looking forward to any insight you might have to offer. Hope you're hanging in there. I sent you a package, you should get it on Monday.

[radiojedi.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun. I'll write when my head is a little more clear and when the funeral is past, etc.