I am not in the least bit sleepy...

Why is it so quiet around here this weekend? Doesn't seem like but a couple people have updated. Don't you people know you were put on this earth to entertain me? j/k

I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself. Just look at my recent spate of journal posts. I've been very introspective lately what with everything that is going on. Here's some more thoughts...

I become more convinced every day that Rick and I are just not meant to be. I think I really scared him tonight. Not so much with the whole I'm no longer thinking that hell is an actual physical place but more so with the I'm not sure, but I'm willing to allow that Jesus may not be the only way to God. Jesus is my way - but that may have more to do with how I was raised than anything else.

I had the most interesting AIM chat with please_go_die about Christianity and reincarnation last night. The jury's still out on what I believe about reincarnation, but I'm exploring it. I know Beth firmly believes in it.

I plan on checking out Wendy's church that Beth sometimes attends - Unity. Very open minded - the kind of church that I would have described back in my conservative days as so open minded their brains are falling out. Ironic that the more I study, search, pray, meditate and reflect that my beliefs are falling more and more in line with such extreme liberal Christians. I'm quite certain my brain has not fallen out. In fact, in some ways I feel like I'm learning to use it for myself for the first time. I always assumed liberal Christians believed what they did because it was easier, they could fit into society with less hassles etc. - I didn't realize how much more intellectually strenous such a belief system causes you to be. There are no more easy answers that someone else provides. Everything has to be examined and brought out into the light of day.

Woo Hoo!

My favorite shirt fits me again. *does a little happy dance* Emm, comfy. Oh the joys of weightloss. I am getting rid of lots of stuff that doesn't fit me - not in the physical sense but the expression sense. My criteria for keeping something was that it resonated with me/expressed some aspect of my personality. Yep. I have two filled to bursting black trash bags of clothes I'm getting rid of. I've asked myself again and again how I ended up with so many clothes to begin with. I think shopping provided the same temporary high that food did - just another addiction to overcome. That plus my mother usually brings me new clothes about every other time I see her because she found something on sale in my size. I see my mother 2-3 times a month minimum so that's a lot of clothes too. I may have come by my shop-a-holic tendencies honestly. ;)