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Apr. 6th, 2005
Breakaway
It's hard for me to breakaway,
To follow my own path
I long so much for your approval,
To not incur your wrath.
I fear most your disappointment
That you will never understand
That path that I have chosen
Or the destination where I land
It's hard enough not knowing,
Where that destination might be.
Harder still to wonder if you will be there,
Heart and soul for me.
Will you accept the choices I must make?
Or disapproval cause a rift so wide,
That there will always be discomfort
When we stand side by side?
I know you will always love me.
I know you will always care.
But I wish what we had went deeper,
That there was more freedom to share.
That I could share my dreams with you
Without being told they were wrong.
That I could open up my heart to you
And truly sing my song.
For though my song is different,
It is just as sweet.
I will not ask you to learn the words,
But can you keep the beat?
For my life is fuller with you in it,
My family, my friends.
I need your understanding now
So that all this pain can mend.
It's hard for me to breakaway,
To follow my own path
I long so much for your approval,
To not incur your wrath.
I fear most your disappointment
That you will never understand
That path that I have chosen
Or the destination where I land
It's hard enough not knowing,
Where that destination might be.
Harder still to wonder if you will be there,
Heart and soul for me.
Will you accept the choices I must make?
Or disapproval cause a rift so wide,
That there will always be discomfort
When we stand side by side?
I know you will always love me.
I know you will always care.
But I wish what we had went deeper,
That there was more freedom to share.
That I could share my dreams with you
Without being told they were wrong.
That I could open up my heart to you
And truly sing my song.
For though my song is different,
It is just as sweet.
I will not ask you to learn the words,
But can you keep the beat?
For my life is fuller with you in it,
My family, my friends.
I need your understanding now
So that all this pain can mend.
Spring is here!
Apr. 6th, 2005 11:44 amYay! The daffodils are blooming - spring is here! Soon my tulips will be up too. When I was little daffodils bloomed all along the bank of the creek in our back yard so they remind me of simpler times I think. But what I truly cherish are hyacinths. Those grew randomly in the woods back behind the creek. Which really when I look at it today is not much of a woods, but to a child it was a vast playground. Anyway the hyacinths blooming was one of the first signs of spring and I used to go hunting for them in the woods. I spent so many hours traipsing through the undergrowth of those woods - it was almost like my own personal maze. I miss those days. There was so much joy in finding the hyacinths. I didn't usually pick them, just left them there to come back and visit later. Hmmm...simpler times. *sigh*
Forgot to eat again today. Now my stomach is really letting me know - loudly. I think I meant to grab something a couple of times, but it just didn't happen. Too wrapped up in what I'm reading/learning I suppose. That plus I'm actually writing today. Yay for an end to writers block! Still haven't turned the TV on once. Might have to break the streak tonight for Alias though. ;)
(no subject)
Apr. 6th, 2005 08:14 pmI followed a link from religioustolerance.org (fast becoming my favorite resource as I search out my personal beliefs because they present a fair and balanced picture) and took this quiz to determine what religion falls in line with my new beliefs (not that I'm entirely sure what all of my new beliefs are yet - I'm still searching/reading/studying/praying/meditating about it.) I was a little surprised that I scored highest on Orthodox Quaker. Guess I'll have to look into it. Here is the link for the quiz if anyone else is interested: http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/
And here are my results:
# 1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
# 2. Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants (93%)
# 3. Liberal Quakers (82%)
# 4. Seventh Day Adventist (74%)
# 5. Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant (72%)
# 6. Unitarian Universalism (70%)
# 7. Eastern Orthodox (70%)
# 8. Roman Catholic (70%)
# 9. Sikhism (62%)
# 10. Reform Judaism (59%)
# 11. Bahá'í Faith (57%)
# 12. Mahayana Buddhism (52%)
# 13. Theravada Buddhism (52%)
# 14. Orthodox Judaism (51%)
# 15. Neo-Pagan (48%)
# 16. Taoism (48%)
# 17. Islam (47%)
# 18. Hinduism (46%)
# 19. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (44%)
# 20. Jainism (44%)
# 21. New Age (42%)
# 22. Secular Humanism (41%)
# 23. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (33%)
# 24. Jehovah's Witness (28%)
# 25. New Thought (27%)
# 26. Scientology (25%)
# 27. Non-theist (20%)
And here are my results:
# 1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
# 2. Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants (93%)
# 3. Liberal Quakers (82%)
# 4. Seventh Day Adventist (74%)
# 5. Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant (72%)
# 6. Unitarian Universalism (70%)
# 7. Eastern Orthodox (70%)
# 8. Roman Catholic (70%)
# 9. Sikhism (62%)
# 10. Reform Judaism (59%)
# 11. Bahá'í Faith (57%)
# 12. Mahayana Buddhism (52%)
# 13. Theravada Buddhism (52%)
# 14. Orthodox Judaism (51%)
# 15. Neo-Pagan (48%)
# 16. Taoism (48%)
# 17. Islam (47%)
# 18. Hinduism (46%)
# 19. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (44%)
# 20. Jainism (44%)
# 21. New Age (42%)
# 22. Secular Humanism (41%)
# 23. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (33%)
# 24. Jehovah's Witness (28%)
# 25. New Thought (27%)
# 26. Scientology (25%)
# 27. Non-theist (20%)
He understands...*sigh*
Apr. 6th, 2005 11:06 pmRick says he understands why I have to leave him. He doesn't like it, he doesn't want it, but he gets it. *Sigh* He's the one that really needs to understand - not that I don't wish my family could still get it - but he matters more. I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off my chest.
