
Well apparently I'm not pregnant after all. As at least one of you knows I was 2 1/2 weeks late...this for a woman who has never been more than 3 days late in her life. I was positive I was pregnant...guess I must have been either really, really stressed out about something or (according to the book I read) have a deep fear of getting pregnant. Either could be the case...or both.
I really thought I was ready for children but when I found out I wasn't pregnant I was actually incredibly relieved. That wasn't quite the reaction I had expected to have. My husband and I have agreed to put off trying again for a little while so I can have some time to work through the massive amount of neurosis I recently dredged up out of my psyche before we subject a baby to my care. :)
I am an escapist. I don't deal with my problems I ignore them and hope they will go away. I don't meet conflict and fear face on I run away! run away! run away!...I'm sorry, little Monty Python moment there. I am realizing that this needs to change if I am going to be a whole person emotionally. And I really don't want to subject my future children to having a mother who is not a whole person.