d_a_r_a: (Default)
[personal profile] d_a_r_a
My brother (god bless his soul) came over to help me assemble a shed tonight. It took us the better part of 4 hours just to prepare and level the ground where the shed will one day be assembled. By then it was 9:30 and we knew we weren't doing any more tonight. He said if I find someone else to help me finish it up he won't feel offended at all. :) So I have to wait a few more days at least before I'll have my shed and can start moving some of this clutter out of my way. *sigh* Such is life.

I spent the better part of the day scared out of my gourd about how I feel about Dave (the most recent one) then I realized that I don't need to figure that out just yet. I also spent part of the day thinking about the last Dave and what my feelings are for him. My brain recognizes that things never could have worked out between us long term but my heart hasn't quite caught up with my brain yet. Good ol' Dr. John Gray confirmed my musings in his book Mars and Venus Starting Over which I just picked up today and started to read - he calls it emotional lag time and likens the speed that the mind recovers from a breakup to the speed of light while likening the speed that the heart recovers to the speed of sound. So I'm trying to allow my heart the freedom to work through the feelings it still has for the last Dave and acknowledge that it's okay for me to still feel sad, wistful, etc. that he is no longer in my life. It's okay that my heart still loves him and can't quite let go of him yet even though my brain has recognized that I am better off without him. I'm still grieving that loss and if I don't allow myself to actually feel those emotions I'll never heal fully and be capable of finding a healthy, loving relationship and truly move on with my life. If there is one thing I've learned it's that it takes more than just attraction to make love and it takes more than just love to make a healthy relationship.

On a completely unrelated note, I found jean shorts for $4.99 at Mr. B's - yes! I love a good deal. I had discovered holes in two pair of my short yesterday so I went shopping for some today and just happened upon a great sale. Love when that happens. Also got a really cute pair of Bongo jeans with a really cute belt for $9.99, gotta love that.

Date: 2005-07-26 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cactus-dave.livejournal.com
You don't have to be too scared...I'm just a huge teddy bear. Also, I like naps and the color blue.

Date: 2005-07-26 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-a-r-a.livejournal.com
What a coinkydink I like naps and blue is my favorite color. :)

Date: 2005-07-27 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] godwillnspire.livejournal.com
What you've shared from that book sounds very wise.

Date: 2005-07-28 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] d-a-r-a.livejournal.com
Well the man's done couples counseling and research for something like 28 years. He really is a font of relationship wisdom. I think everyone who is in or wants to be in a truly healthy, loving relationship really ought to read his stuff.

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